Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The Devasura Clan Wars

Warning : Publicity content included

A long time ago in the ages of the Pentium 1s and 2s, the Deva and the Asura clans would fight their Counterstrike clan wars in order to decide the fate of the world. The Devas always had the upper hand, what with Indra and his speciality Vajrayudha-47 gun and Vishnu once in a while picking off headshots with his Sudarshana Scout Rifle. So things went fine for a while, and the gaming world was happy.

It was during this time that in the month of Tula (July) there was a Devasura clan war in Swarga. The Devas were all pumped up and rearing to use their secret Agni grenade tactics. But as soon as the first match started off, BAM BAM BAM, all headshots, and the 3 million Devas went dead on the floor. The Asuras had scored their first CS match victory in yugas!

The Devas were surprised. The second match started soon, and this time they decided to Flash Bang the enemy with Surya (The sun), but no longer had a second passed, than BANG BANG and 'Terrorists Win..', the Devas had lost again.

Needless to say, The Devas lost the Swarga clan war none to 20.

The Devas, as usual, ran to their mentor and star gamer Vishnu for his Sudarshan Scout Rifle. However Vishnu, who was enjoying a quiet moment with his consort on his Snake-bed, was in no mood for a game:

Devas: "Oh Vishnu, greatest of gamers, the Asuras have defeated us at the clan war at Swarga.. they were too fast for us to see.. none of our tactics went through, and we could'nt score even one kill..Even Shiva on his Bull-pup Nandi could do nothing..Please salvage our pride and use your weapon to help us.."

Vishnu: "Learn to fight for yourselves, you @#%^s. Why the Naraka (hell) do you think you lost the war?"

The Devas look puzzled

Vishnu: "The Asuras use pitiable 486 processors, yet they beat your latest P4 dual cores. They use memory sticks for memory while you people have all the RAM you want. Yet you lost. Why?

You people, in your greed for winning, were ready to use the pitiable OS provided to you by Kubera (God of wealth): Lindows. And blinded by your hunger for power you bought it time and time again, not caring for how slow it was or how many bugs it had. You stuck to your old ways of running to me for debugging or pressing Ctrl-Alt-Delete. No more shall this happen. Its time you discovered a new way, a new OS."

Devas: "But oh Lord Vishnu what OS can be greater than Kuberasoft Lindows? And how do we get it? Even our software division manager Brihaspati has no clue.."

Vishnu: "There is one, created by the greatest software engineer of all: Linux. Learn it, install it, and you will see your counterstrike perform a million times faster than before. Then it will be killing spree for the counter terrorists (aka Devas).. "

Devas: "Linux? Duh.. We have no clue..What the hell (ahem.. excuse me).. what in the heavens is that ? How do we study about this oh lord.."

Vishnu: "Well theres an easy way, and a hard way. Hard way: Go to the mountain of Mandara, carry it and put it in the ocean of Paalazhi, Bring the snake Vasuki from the snake world, coil him around the mountain, churn the mountain and get your new Linux tutorial guide..."

(The Devas are puzzled and understandably baffled)

Devas: "Er.. and the easy way..?"

Vishnu: "Yes, the easy way.. I was coming to that. In Makar (March), there will be an event called FOSSMeet '08.. It'll be in the south of Bhaarat in a place called NIT. Go there, and you shall receive all the tutorials you need about Linux and Open source. Then only will you be freed of your sins. Its all about freedom and sharing, after all. And yes, there are good earthly girls to be seen too..."

Its that time of the year again.. See you all at FOSSMeet 2008!.. Please visit the link
To know more about FOSS, see my previous blog on FOSS..


nautillus said...

nice one da..but with reference to ur other post on chalis this is one offence intended..but ur creativity should be appreciated and effort rite before our exams..again no offence intended..

Hari Vishnu said...

no offense taken.. yes there were elements of chali-ism ofcourse.. cant control that element in my writing :-)..

krishna said...

excellent blog i can say

topics were very interesting .

i am appreciating your creativity..about seminar hall topic, train journey ... some movies

very nice to visit

Rama krishna

Quest said...

Rightly said "Earthly girls" ahahahaha :D

Hari Vishnu said...

Thanx Ram :-)

@Viajero.. well well at NITC you know what we mean by earthly girls right :-)..