"Class Committee meeting, February 07", or ,"13 angry faculty and 2 clueless class reps"

"Notice to All Class Reps of S4, S6, S8 EEE and all Faculty
The 2nd class committee for the year 2007 will be held on 31st Jan. Agenda discussed will include
1. Performance of students in the First series Tests
2. Review of Progress of curriculum
3. Marking scheme for current sem
4. Any other issues"

Just for your info, a class committee meeting (CCM) is where the teachers get to screw the entire class for screwing them up in the classrooms. This is unfortunately done by means of 2 scapegoats called class representatives. the lucky ones who get to hear with 4 ears what was in store for an entire class of 67 ppl..

To some, the above notice may seem to be the usual harmless kind of paper document, no big deal.. but let me point out to you that it can serve equally well as a death warrant. Notice the keywords "Performance", "Progress", "Marking", and the most dangerous of all, "Any other issues".

As soon as the unfortunate class reps of S6 EEE (myself and Donna) set eyes on this, we knew it was crunch time. You see, meeting with the faculty is fine.. all nice people, human like you and me and all, but when it comes to the keywords mentioned above even the friendliest of them can turn nasty.
The show started at 3:30 pm on the 31st. I dint exactly improve the situation by walking in 2 minutes late. Walking into a CCM is NOT like walking into a class.. in the latter u have only 1 teacher to deal with , but in the former there are a dozen of them involved. Luckily I only had to put up with a dozen hostile stares (plenty more where that came from)..

The meeting started off with the usual 'Review of Progress' where the teachers list out what chunk of the huge 'syllabus' monster they have covered..A lot of bluffing is involved..But the law of 'Syllabus can never be covered' quickly turns them to the point of extra-classes..

Extra Classes

Many a life of an engineer have been destroyed over that word- so many sleepless afternoons, 1st hours, evenings and even weekends. Having a slot system to decide the time-table in ur college doesnt help, cos the Law of NO FREE SLOTS, which states "Any slot that has been made free in a given amount of time by a given teacher, will be used up in a lesser amount of time by another teacher", or alternatively, "Students are not allowed to have free hours", comes into effect. Free hours are like needles in a haystack. Maybe worse. Finally we conclude the only free slots are ones that dont exist, namely
Saturday : 9 am to 9 pm
Sunday : 9 am to 9 pm
Now, teachers are human and need their 48 hours of sleep too, so everyone quickly decides to change the topic to the next one.

Performance in the tests

This is where revenge for 'no extra classes' comes. As the teachers read out some of the most depressing marks to you (mostly single digits) in all equally depressing subjects, all eyes begin to turn toward you. and tension in the room builds up until the question finally comes at you
"Now, class reps, what is the reason for this bad performance?", which is a very pointless question- it sounds as if the class has somehow conspired (with class reps at the head, ofcourse) to purposely screw up the exams so they may get a backpaper and sit in the same class once more.
It is more suitable to say "How the Hell am I supposed to know" but Donna tactfully says "We dont know sir, maybe the portions are too much". Leave it to a girl to do the lying.

By this time the snacks have arrived (tea and banana fries), its a suitable time to discuss 'Marking scheme', cos teachers know the CRs are paralysed by the food in their mouths. 'Marking scheme' is basically a bargaining game, where CRs try to increase free assignment marks while the teachers do the converse. Quotes of '20-40' and '15-50' are continuosly traded until both parties know they cant go any further.

The last item, 'Any other issues', is where the CRs get to say any other problems they face. They are fully aided by the assuring murderous looks on the faces of 13 teachers staring at you. Saying something like "Yes Sir, we have a problem.." is the stupidest thing to do, cos the firing volley that follows leaves you thinking you dint have to do it in the first place.

Finally, the meeting is over, and you thank God that He has let you survive another Day. Until the next CCM, ofcourse...